FRE$H

me: hmm what happens if i forcibly bend this thing
thing: *breaks*
me:

today this white girl asked me why my hair is so curly and i said im black and she told me to say african american

rain deer

becausebirds:
When you’re trying to do homework but you can’t because birds
What the fuck are you doing using internet explorer?

msjewbooty:

i love to use phrases such as “well i’ll be” and “would ya look at that” because in all seriousness i thoroughly enjoy sounding like an astonished elderly southern man

lunapics:

churchyardgrim:
jpfinch1:
just-shower-thoughts:
Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate.
I was having a good day. We were all having a good day.
I mean it’s kind of not, seeds aren’t analogous to sperm, hell, pollen isn’t analogous to sperm, plants don’t do dimorphic gametes like that. a better analogy would be firing a couple dozen fully-formed babies from a tshirt cannon
Now we’re having a good day again.